Humanist Weddings, Relationships, Stay Safe, Uncategorized, wedding planning

Sober Celebrations

Pure Weddings: Why Sobriety Can Make the Best Celebrations

As a celebrant, I get paid to celebrate other people’s big days. I love it — having the ceremony ready, getting dressed up, make-up on, that “let’s do this” feeling.

But if I’m honest, I didn’t grow up loving any sort of party. They usually meant my mum going from a loving, funny, charming, kind, strong character of a wummin to a crying, paranoid, sick wreck who would stay in bed for days while we, as children roamed the streets, late at night, hunting for alka seltzer or askit powders!

Dragged up between the East End and the Gorbals as a child, “celebration” meant something very different. New Year, or New Fear as I called it, in our house was less Auld Lang Syne and more Auld Lang Crime.

It always started well. The cleanest house in the street — lino scrubbed to within an inch of its life. Cushions fluffed? Don’t be daft. If you wanted comfort you brought your coat.

A pot of peas on the go, sometimes, there’d even be a pie if there was any money to spare. A massive pot of soup ready for the first-footers, bubbling away like the star of the show.

The drinks brought out of hiding; a bottle of whisky for the men, Harvey’s Bristol Cream [sherry] for the ladies – Babycham for the weans – yes, I know (6% ABV) — pure sophistication personified and we weren’t even European yet!.

In later years I remember the whisky and sherry gave way to cans of Carlsberg, Lanliq and Eldorado. These modern refreshment, ensured the party was very quickly turned into a ‘super’ charged chaotic nightmare. Kids cowering on a pile of coats in the corner – trying to sleep, Babycham kicking in.

Fast forward 24 hours… soup on the ceiling, mum distraught, dad on the run (or in the jail). Not exactly the kind of Hogmanay they they advertise on that Visit Scotland site.

So yes — when I say there is a place for sober celebrations, I mean it. I’ve seen the other side.

And when it comes to weddings, there are real reasons to consider keeping it alcohol-free, especially if sobriety or alcoholism is part of family life.


7 Reasons to Have a Sober Wedding

1. Protects recovery
If someone close to you is newly sober, a wedding without alcohol gives them the best chance to enjoy the day safely.

2. Cuts the drama
No drunken arguments, no missing groomsmen, no guests falling into the buffet table.

3. Everyone remembers it
Literally. Nobody wakes up the next morning wondering who they kissed during Loch Lomond.

4. Children feel included
Weddings with fewer drunk adults are much more fun (and safer) for wee ones.

5. Showcases creativity
Mocktail bars, dessert stations, ceilidhs, silent discos — the fun comes from the activities, not the alcohol.

6. Lasting photographs
Your wedding album is full of smiles, not half-shut eyes and red faces.

7. Pure love, pure memories
When alcohol isn’t part of the equation, the focus stays exactly where it should be — on the couple and the commitment they’ve made.

With love,

Your Sober Celebrant

Etiquette, Fun, hospitality, Humanist Weddings, Love, Mindfulness, proposal, Relationships, restrictions, wedding planning, weddings

Worst Wedding Guest!

7 Things NOT to Do at a Wedding (Unless You Want to Be Uninvited from Future Ones)

Ah, weddings. A magical day filled with love, joy, and at least one tipsy uncle embarrassing himself on the dance floor. But while the happy couple is basking in their big moment, there are some things you, as a guest (or even part of the wedding party), absolutely should NOT do. Unless, of course, your goal is to become the person everyone whispers about for years to come.

Here are seven things you should definitely avoid doing at a wedding:

1. Don’t Wear White (Or Anything That Screams, ‘Look at Me!’)

It’s the couple’s day, not your personal runway show. Leave the white, ivory, or anything remotely bridal-looking in your wardrobe where it belongs. Also, avoid anything so flashy that it could double as a disco ball. If guests need sunglasses to look at you, you’ve gone too far.

2. Don’t Propose to Your Partner

Yes, weddings are romantic, but hijacking someone else’s big day to pop the question is a major no-no. Unless you’ve explicitly cleared it with the couple, keep that ring in your pocket. This is their moment—yours can wait.

3. Don’t Get Sloppily Drunk

A few drinks? Sure! Slurring your words and challenging the groom to a dance-off? Not so much. No one wants to see you hugging the cake table for support. Pace yourself, hydrate, and remember that if you wouldn’t do it in front of your gran, maybe don’t do it at a wedding.

4. Don’t Complain About the Food

Maybe you’re not a fan of the fish. Maybe the cake is a little dry. Maybe the vegan option tastes like cardboard. But you know what tastes worse? Rudeness. Smile, nod, and pretend you’re on an episode of a cooking show where the judges only say nice things.

5. Don’t Bring a Plus-One Who Wasn’t Invited

Weddings are carefully planned, from seating arrangements to catering numbers. Turning up with a “surprise” plus-one is like showing up at a dinner party with a stray dog—sure, it might be cute, but it’s also a logistical nightmare.

6. Don’t Hog the Photographer

Yes, professional photographers take beautiful pictures, but that doesn’t mean you should turn their time into your own personal photoshoot. Let them focus on the couple instead of spending 20 minutes capturing your “best angles.”

7. Don’t Try to Be the Star of the Show

Whether it’s an over-the-top speech, an unsolicited performance, or an impromptu wardrobe malfunction on the dance floor, weddings are not your talent showcase. Keep it classy, enjoy the event, and let the couple shine.

Final Thoughts

Weddings are about celebrating love, not testing social boundaries. So, be the guest everyone wants to invite again—dress appropriately, keep the drinks in check, and, for the love of all things good, let the couple have their moment.

Oh, and if you do break any of these rules… at least make sure someone gets it on video. For, you know, educational purposes.

For more about wedding etiquette click Here!

Civil Weddings, wedding planning, weddings

Planning a Wedding – 2

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Can you be our advocate in dealing with vendors – service?

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