Author: MM The Celebrant

I am a Humanist Celebrant Authorised to conduct legal weddings in Scotland. I can create a bespoke ceremony which will reflect your day your way! MM
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2026 Wedding Trends

MM The Celebrant

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7 Wedding Trends for 2026 According to a Scottish Wedding Celebrant!

If you’re planning a 2026 wedding in Scotland, prepare yourself — the trends are bold, meaningful, and gloriously Scottish. As a celebrant, I get a front-row seat to it all, and I’m happy to report that 2026 is shaping up beautifully.

Here are the seven biggest trends I’m already seeing for next year.

1. Personal Vows Are Getting Properly Personal

Couples are ditching the generic lines and writing vows that sound like them — heartfelt, honest, and sometimes unintentionally hilarious.
Think: promises to always make the tea, or to stop stealing the duvet.
2026 couples want sincerity, not scripts — and it makes ceremonies unforgettable.

2. Micro Weddings With Mega Atmosphere

Small weddings aren’t going anywhere.
In fact, 2026 will see more couples choosing intimate gatherings in their favourite corners of Scotland — forests, lochsides, hilltops, and maybe even Granny’s garden if the midges behave.
Fewer guests = more connection, more personality, and more time to enjoy the day rather than sprint through it.

3. Celebrant-Led Ceremonies Front and Centre

Good news for me (MM The Celebrant): couples want ceremonies that feel personal, inclusive, and original.
Celebrant-led weddings give you the freedom to:

  • Marry anywhere with landowner permission
  • Include personal stories
  • Blend traditions or create brand-new ones

2026 is all about meaningful moments rather than “insert-name-here” ceremonies.

4. “Anti-Stress” Wedding Planning

This might be my favourite trend.
Couples are simplifying — fewer complicated timelines, more relaxed structures.
Think: flexible ceremony start times, less rigid formalities, and focusing on what actually matters: the two of you promising a lifetime together.
(Your aunt will recover if the seating plan isn’t perfectly symmetrical.)

5. Bold Scottish Elements

Tartan will always be timeless — but in 2026 it’s getting creative.

Expect to see:

  • Mixed-pattern tartans
  • Tartan ribbon bouquets
  • Modern tartan suits (even pink and sage versions!)
  • Celtic readings and Scottish folklore woven into the ceremony

It’s Scottish tradition, just… with extra flair.

6. Sustainable Everything

2026 couples care deeply about the planet — and it’s showing.

Eco-friendly choices include:

  • Wildflower confetti
  • Locally sourced florals
  • Reusable décor
  • Pre-loved or re-designed wedding outfits

And of course, outdoor ceremonies in Scotland means the scenery does most of the decorating for free.

7. Dogs, Dogs, and More Dogs

Scotland has officially embraced the “dog of honour.”
In 2026, we’ll see more pups trotting down aisles with bow ties, flower collars, or incredibly serious expressions as they guard the rings.
And yes — I wholeheartedly support all canine involvement.
(Mud and slobber are temporary. Wedding memories are forever.)

Final Thoughts

2026 weddings in Scotland will be personal, relaxed, meaningful, and full of character — much like the couples themselves. Whether you’re planning a tiny ceremony on a clifftop or a big celebration in a barn, the trends all point to one thing:

Do it your way — and enjoy every moment of it.

Wedding Ideas!

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Two Glasgow Icons

MM The Celebrant

Why The Trades Hall and The Merchant’s Hall Are Perfect for a Proper Glasgow Wedding

When it comes to Glasgow wedding venues, few places capture the city’s history, heart, and style quite like The Trades Hall and The Merchant’s Hall. These two architectural gems sit in the beating heart of the city, steeped in Glasgow’s story — from the days of the proud merchant traders to the modern couples who now celebrate their love under those same grand ceilings.

As MM The Celebrant, I’ve had the absolute pleasure of leading ceremonies in both, and let me tell you — they’re not just beautiful venues. They’re part of Glasgow’s soul.

The Trades Hall – Grandeur with Glasgow Heart

If you’re after a wedding that feels elegant yet unmistakably Glaswegian, The Trades Hall of Glasgow in the Merchant City delivers on every level.

Built in the late 1700s and still owned by The Trades House of Glasgow, the building is full of rich history — high ceilings, sweeping staircases, sparkling chandeliers, and centuries of craftsmanship. Every detail whispers tradition, but there’s nothing stuffy about it. It’s warm, romantic, and full of atmosphere.

As a humanist celebrant, I love The Trades Hall because it has that perfect mix — grandeur and intimacy. You can create a ceremony that feels personal and emotional, but still has all the wow-factor your guests will talk about for years.

Why couples love The Trades Hall:

  • Iconic architecture and jaw-dropping interiors.
  • Central Merchant City location, perfect for photos.
  • Ideal for humanist weddings and bespoke ceremonies.
  • A space that feels both historic and heartfelt.

Pro tip from MM The Celebrant:
If you’re going for timeless Glasgow elegance, you can’t do better than standing under that chandelier, surrounded by your nearest and dearest, while I tell your story — laughter, love, and maybe a wee tear or two.

The Merchant’s Hall – Old-World Elegance in the City’s Heart

Just a few streets away sits another Glasgow treasure — The Merchant’s Hall, home to The Merchants House of Glasgow. This venue is pure class. From its grand staircase to the ornate ballroom, it’s like stepping back in time — but with all the modern comforts you need for a smooth, stylish day.

It’s a building that’s seen generations of Glasgow’s story unfold, and now, it’s hosting new stories of love.

For humanist weddings, The Merchant’s Hall offers an elegant blank canvas — you can fill it with your own touches, music, readings, and laughter. It’s perfect for couples who want something sophisticated but still personal, rooted in Glasgow tradition but open to something modern and meaningful.

Why couples choose The Merchant’s Hall:

  • Stunning historic setting with luxurious details.
  • Central location near George Square and Merchant City.
  • Gorgeous light for photographs and cinematic moments.
  • Welcoming staff who embrace modern, celebrant-led weddings.

MM The Celebrant’s take:
The Merchant’s Hall is the kind of place where your ceremony feels elevated — it’s not just a wedding, it’s an occasion. It’s where love meets legacy, and Glasgow shines at its best!

Let me help you tell your story!

Mx

humanist, Humanist Weddings, Uncategorized

Industrial Romance

MM The Celebrant

The Best Glasgow Wedding Venues for a Proper City Celebration

There’s something special about a Glasgow wedding — it’s got heart, grit, and a whole lot of soul. More and more couples are turning away from the traditional country house and instead embracing industrial wedding venues that showcase the city’s true character.

Two of the best examples? BaAD at the Barras and WEST on the Green — iconic, urban spaces that celebrate Glasgow’s roots while giving you the perfect backdrop for unforgettable wedding photos.

As MM The Celebrant, a proper Glasgow celebrant, I’ve had the joy of officiating ceremonies in both. And I can tell you — these venues don’t just look amazing, they feel authentic too

BaAD at the Barras – Industrial Cool with Glasgow Soul

If you’re looking for a unique Glasgow wedding venue – BaAD – is unbeatable. Nestled in the heart of the Barras Market, this glass-roofed, industrial-chic space brings together everything couples love about the city — creativity, community, and character.

With its exposed brick, high ceilings, and natural light, BaAD gives you a stunning setting that needs very little dressing up. You can go bold and modern, or keep it soft and romantic — either way, it’s a photographer’s dream.

As a Glasgow wedding celebrant, I love BaAD because it feels personal and also flexible. You can make it totally your own — a relaxed, laughter-filled ceremony surrounded by the city’s buzzing energy. This is Glasgow at its best.

WEST on the Green – A Glasgow Landmark with a Modern Twist

Over by Glasgow Green, WEST Brewery offers something truly special. Set inside the iconic Templeton Building, this venue is steeped in history — with those famous red-brick arches and vast windows giving you a dramatic industrial backdrop.

It’s perfect for couples who want a stylish Glasgow wedding venue that mixes heritage and contemporary flair. Inside, the working brewery adds a unique twist (and some seriously good pints for the reception!).

As someone who’s led ceremonies here, I can say WEST offers that rare blend — industrial elegance and warm hospitality. Plus, the photo opportunities are next level cool. The contrast between the architecture and your wedding style makes for breathtaking, proper Glasgow wedding photos.

Why Industrial Wedding Venues Work So Well in Glasgow

Industrial venues are full of texture, tone, and authenticity — just like the city itself. They let your personality shine without forcing a theme. Add some greenery, candlelight, and personal touches, and you’ll have a setting that feels both romantic and real.

And when you work with a Glasgow wedding celebrant like MM The Celebrant, you get a ceremony that fits right in — fun, heartfelt, a little bit cheeky, and full of Glasgow warmth. It’s not just about saying “I do”; it’s about celebrating who you are and where you’re from.

A Proper Glasgow Wedding – Real, Raw, and Full of Heart

Whether you’re walking down the aisle under the glass roof at BaAD or toasting your love at WEST Brewery, an industrial Glasgow wedding is all about connection — to each other and to the city you love.

These venues let you tell your story your way — bold, beautiful, and unmistakably Glasgow. And with MM The Celebrant leading the way, you’ll have a ceremony that’s just as unique as your venue.

Because at the end of the day, a proper Glasgow wedding isn’t about perfection — it’s about personality. And that’s something this city delivers in spades.

Check out the venues here BaAD WEST Weddings

Read more: Industrial Romance

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Want a Vintage Twist?

MM The Celebrant

7 Cool Small Wedding Venues in Glasgow You’ll Love!


Glasgow is full of quirky and charming places perfect for small – or not so small weddings. Whether you’re looking for an intimate venue with rich history, or something modern, cool and trendy, Glasgow has you covered. Here are seven unique and unforgettable vintage vibe wedding venues for your big day!

  1. Sloans
    If you love history, Sloans is your venue! As one of Glasgow’s oldest and most iconic buildings, Sloans offers a stunning space for couples looking for a classic city centre setting with character. The baroque style and grand surroundings make it perfect for an elegant, intimate wedding that’ll have guests talking for years.

⭐Why it’s cool: Historic charm, central location, and fantastic food!

  1. BaAD
    A hidden gem in the heart of Glasgow, BaAD is ideal for couples who want a vibrant, contemporary feel with a touch of urban charm. With its bright, open atmosphere and stylish industrial design, this venue offers a modern, distinctive setting for your wedding day that’s both unique and effortlessly cool.

⭐Why it’s cool: exposed brick, steel beams, and lots of natural light from its glass roof — that mix of raw and polished gives it a modern, edgy charm.

  1. Òran Mór
    Set in a former church, Òran Mór is a stunning wedding venue that effortlessly blends traditional architecture with modern elegance. With its stunning stained-glass windows and grand space, it provides an intimate yet atmospheric setting for your wedding. The venue also boasts a lovely private function area for your reception.

⭐Why it’s cool: A mix of old-world charm and contemporary style, plus fantastic food!

  1. The Citation
    If you’re after a venue with personality and historic flair, The Citation is a must-see. Located in the iconic Royal Exchange building, this beautiful venue offers a contemporary space with a historical backdrop, perfect for small to mid-sized weddings. The elegant, old-world vibe makes it ideal for couples who want something a little different.

⭐Why it’s cool: Stylish setting with a lot of history and charm!

  1. West Brewery
    If you’re looking for something a little more laid-back and fun, West Brewery at the iconic Glasgow Green is a fantastic choice. You can tie the knot surrounded by beautiful green spaces, then head inside to enjoy some local craft beers brewed right on site. The industrial-chic vibe adds a cool twist to your special day.

⭐Why it’s cool: A relaxed, brewery vibe, and plenty of craft beer options for your guests!

  1. The Bothy
    For an intimate, rustic-chic wedding, The Bothy is a perfect choice. This venue offers a homely, charming setting with wood beams, vintage decor, and a cosy atmosphere. It’s small but so welcoming and would be ideal for a couple looking for a relaxed, heartfelt wedding.

⭐ Why it’s cool: Cosy, intimate feel with a rustic charm that makes everyone feel like home.

  1. The Engine Room
    If you want an industrial-meets-modern wedding venue, The Engine Room is a fantastic choice. This stylish, contemporary space is tucked away in Glasgow’s West End and offers a unique backdrop for couples who want something a little different. The minimalist yet chic design makes it a versatile venue that you can truly make your own.

⭐ Why it’s cool: Industrial-chic style, flexible space, and a trendy West End location.

So, there you have it! Whether you’re a lover of history, a fan of unique and offbeat spaces, or just looking for something stylish yet intimate, Glasgow has something perfect for your small wedding. Any of these seven venues would make a fantastic backdrop for your big day, with plenty of personality, charm, and atmosphere.

Humanist Weddings, Relationships, Stay Safe, Uncategorized, wedding planning

Sober Celebrations

MM The Celebrant

Pure Weddings: Why Sobriety Can Make the Best Celebrations

As a celebrant, I get paid to celebrate other people’s big days. I love it — having the ceremony ready, getting dressed up, make-up on, that “let’s do this” feeling.

But if I’m honest, I didn’t grow up loving any sort of party. They usually meant my mum going from a loving, funny, charming, kind, strong character of a wummin to a crying, paranoid, sick wreck who would stay in bed for days while we, as children roamed the streets, late at night, hunting for alka seltzer or askit powders!

Dragged up between the East End and the Gorbals as a child, “celebration” meant something very different. New Year, or New Fear as I called it, in our house was less Auld Lang Syne and more Auld Lang Crime.

It always started well. The cleanest house in the street — lino scrubbed to within an inch of its life. Cushions fluffed? Don’t be daft. If you wanted comfort you brought your coat.

A pot of peas on the go, sometimes, there’d even be a pie if there was any money to spare. A massive pot of soup ready for the first-footers, bubbling away like the star of the show.

The drinks brought out of hiding; a bottle of whisky for the men, Harvey’s Bristol Cream [sherry] for the ladies – Babycham for the weans – yes, I know (6% ABV) — pure sophistication personified and we weren’t even European yet!.

In later years I remember the whisky and sherry gave way to cans of Carlsberg, Lanliq and Eldorado. These modern refreshment, ensured the party was very quickly turned into a ‘super’ charged chaotic nightmare. Kids cowering on a pile of coats in the corner – trying to sleep, Babycham kicking in.

Fast forward 24 hours… soup on the ceiling, mum distraught, dad on the run (or in the jail). Not exactly the kind of Hogmanay they they advertise on that Visit Scotland site.

So yes — when I say there is a place for sober celebrations, I mean it. I’ve seen the other side.

And when it comes to weddings, there are real reasons to consider keeping it alcohol-free, especially if sobriety or alcoholism is part of family life.

7 Reasons to Have a Sober Wedding

1. Protects recovery
If someone close to you is newly sober, a wedding without alcohol gives them the best chance to enjoy the day safely.

2. Cuts the drama
No drunken arguments, no missing groomsmen, no guests falling into the buffet table.

3. Everyone remembers it
Literally. Nobody wakes up the next morning wondering who they kissed during Loch Lomond.

4. Children feel included
Weddings with fewer drunk adults are much more fun (and safer) for wee ones.

5. Showcases creativity
Mocktail bars, dessert stations, ceilidhs, silent discos — the fun comes from the activities, not the alcohol.

6. Lasting photographs
Your wedding album is full of smiles, not half-shut eyes and red faces.

7. Pure love, pure memories
When alcohol isn’t part of the equation, the focus stays exactly where it should be — on the couple and the commitment they’ve made.

With love,

Your Sober Celebrant

Read My Story Here

Etiquette, Fun, hospitality, Humanist Weddings, Love, Mindfulness, proposal, Relationships, restrictions, wedding planning, weddings

Worst Wedding Guest!

MM The Celebrant

7 Things NOT to Do at a Wedding (Unless You Want to Be Uninvited from Future Ones)

Ah, weddings. A magical day filled with love, joy, and at least one tipsy uncle embarrassing himself on the dance floor. But while the happy couple is basking in their big moment, there are some things you, as a guest (or even part of the wedding party), absolutely should NOT do. Unless, of course, your goal is to become the person everyone whispers about for years to come.

Here are seven things you should definitely avoid doing at a wedding:

1. Don’t Wear White (Or Anything That Screams, ‘Look at Me!’)

It’s the couple’s day, not your personal runway show. Leave the white, ivory, or anything remotely bridal-looking in your wardrobe where it belongs. Also, avoid anything so flashy that it could double as a disco ball. If guests need sunglasses to look at you, you’ve gone too far.

2. Don’t Propose to Your Partner

Yes, weddings are romantic, but hijacking someone else’s big day to pop the question is a major no-no. Unless you’ve explicitly cleared it with the couple, keep that ring in your pocket. This is their moment—yours can wait.

3. Don’t Get Sloppily Drunk

A few drinks? Sure! Slurring your words and challenging the groom to a dance-off? Not so much. No one wants to see you hugging the cake table for support. Pace yourself, hydrate, and remember that if you wouldn’t do it in front of your gran, maybe don’t do it at a wedding.

4. Don’t Complain About the Food

Maybe you’re not a fan of the fish. Maybe the cake is a little dry. Maybe the vegan option tastes like cardboard. But you know what tastes worse? Rudeness. Smile, nod, and pretend you’re on an episode of a cooking show where the judges only say nice things.

5. Don’t Bring a Plus-One Who Wasn’t Invited

Weddings are carefully planned, from seating arrangements to catering numbers. Turning up with a “surprise” plus-one is like showing up at a dinner party with a stray dog—sure, it might be cute, but it’s also a logistical nightmare.

6. Don’t Hog the Photographer

Yes, professional photographers take beautiful pictures, but that doesn’t mean you should turn their time into your own personal photoshoot. Let them focus on the couple instead of spending 20 minutes capturing your “best angles.”

7. Don’t Try to Be the Star of the Show

Whether it’s an over-the-top speech, an unsolicited performance, or an impromptu wardrobe malfunction on the dance floor, weddings are not your talent showcase. Keep it classy, enjoy the event, and let the couple shine.

Final Thoughts

Weddings are about celebrating love, not testing social boundaries. So, be the guest everyone wants to invite again—dress appropriately, keep the drinks in check, and, for the love of all things good, let the couple have their moment.

Oh, and if you do break any of these rules… at least make sure someone gets it on video. For, you know, educational purposes.

For more about wedding etiquette click Here!

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Why a Wee Wedding?

MM The Celebrant

7 Brilliant Advantages of a Wee Wedding in Scotland

Big weddings are grand, but have you ever considered the charm of a “wee wedding”? Think intimate, personal, and—let’s be honest—less faff. Whether it’s in your granny’s garden, the pub where you met, or your own cosy living room, here are seven reasons why a small wedding might just be the best decision you ever make (other than saying ‘I do’, of course!).

1. You Save a Fortune (More Money for the Honeymoon!)

Large weddings can cost the equivalent of a small castle, but a wee wedding? That’s a budget-friendly dream! Spend less on chair covers and canapés, and more on a spectacular honeymoon—or even a deposit on a house. Imagine sipping cocktails in the Maldives instead of stressing over a seating plan.

2. Less Stress, More Fun

Fewer guests mean fewer logistics. No need to wrangle a hundred people into a group photo or worry about distant relatives falling out over the chicken or fish. A wee wedding means you actually get to enjoy your day instead of micromanaging it.

3. The Venue Can Be Somewhere Truly Meaningful

Why book an expensive venue when you can say your vows in the pub where you had your first date? Or in your best friend’s garden, under fairy lights? A small wedding lets you choose a place that actually means something to you, rather than a generic wedding hall that smells faintly of stress and Prosecco.

4. Everyone Actually Gets to Speak to Each Other

At a big wedding, you spend half the day nodding politely at distant cousins you’ve never met. A wee wedding means real conversations, proper belly laughs, and an actual chance to soak in the love. No need for awkward introductions when everyone already knows each other!

5. The Food Can Be Exactly What You Want

Forget the mass-produced chicken supreme! With a small wedding, you can have fish and chips, a barbecue, or even a takeaway from your favourite curry house. One couple even got married in their living room and ordered in pizza—pure genius!

6. No Obligatory Plus-Ones or Distant Relatives

No offence to your mum’s work colleague’s daughter, but does she really need to be there? A small wedding gives you permission to invite only the people who truly matter. No guilt, no awkward small talk, just your nearest and dearest celebrating with you.

7. It’s Unique, Personal, and Unforgettable

Big weddings can sometimes feel a bit “copy and paste”—same structure, same routine. But a wee wedding? That’s all about you. Whether it’s a DIY setup in your house, a surprise elopement, or a handfasting in your pal’s garden, your day will be one-of-a-kind.

Final Thought

A wee wedding isn’t just a budget-friendly option—it’s a chance to have a day that’s all about love, laughter, and zero stress. So whether you’re tying the knot in a tiny cottage, your favourite pub, or your own back garden, remember: size doesn’t matter, but memories do!

For more about Wee Weddings Click Here!

valentine's day, Valentine's Day

Spontaneous Knee-Bender?

MM The Celebrant

7 Reasons to Plan Your Proposal on Valentine’s Day (and Not Be a Spontaneous Knee-Bender)

So, you’re thinking of proposing, but you can’t decide whether to wing it in the moment or go all out on Valentine’s Day? Well, as a wedding celebrant in Scotland, I’ve seen my fair share of engagements – the good, the bad, and the “Oh dear, was that meant to be romantic?”

While spontaneity is charming, here are seven reasons why planning your proposal for Valentine’s Day is a much better idea than suddenly dropping to one knee in the frozen aisle of Tesco while holding a meal deal.

1. Valentine’s Day Already Does Half the Work

It’s the one day of the year where restaurants dim the lights, scatter rose petals, and pretend every dish is “sensual” (even the mashed tatties). The atmosphere is already there – you just need to show up with a ring!

2. You’ll Actually Have a Ring

Speaking of rings… spontaneous proposals often involve an IOU or a Haribo sweetie ring in place of an actual sparkler. That’s fine when you’re ten years old in the playground, but if you’re proposing as a fully-grown adult, let’s aim for a bit more preparation.

3. No One Wants a ‘Hangry’ Proposal

Imagine this: you’re walking along a scenic loch, feeling the romance in the air… when suddenly, hunger strikes. Your partner is giving you the look (you know the one), and now you’re down on one knee while they’re just thinking about chips. Valentine’s Day proposals usually involve a meal first. You’ll both be well-fed and in the mood to celebrate properly!

4. The Photos Will Be Instagram-Ready

A well-planned proposal means you can subtly hint to a friend (or a hired photographer) to capture the moment, rather than relying on a blurry, mid-blink selfie taken in a panic. Trust me, your future self will thank you when you’re not explaining why your engagement photo has a kebab in the background.

5. No Awkward ‘Wrong Moment’ Moments

Spontaneous proposals come with risks. Don’t do it in the supermarket or when they are in the toilet!!!

AND…

What if you pop the question just as your partner is mid-sneeze? Or right after they’ve stubbed their toe and are cursing in five different languages? Planning for Valentine’s Day means choosing the perfect moment, rather than an unfortunate one.

6. It’s the One Day You Won’t Forget

Some people propose on random Tuesdays and then spend a lifetime trying to remember if it was March or April. But Valentine’s Day? Easy to remember. No forgotten engagement anniversaries, no awkward “When did we get engaged again?” questions. Simple. Effective. Foolproof.

7. You’ll Have a Lifetime of ‘I Planned This’ Bragging Rights

Nothing screams romance like being able to say, “Yes, I orchestrated this whole thing with thought, care, and a touch of magic.” Instead of, “Yeah, I just sort of… did it in the queue for the chippy.”

So, There You Have It!

While spontaneous proposals have their place, if you want to get it just right, a well-thought-out Valentine’s Day plan is your best bet. Besides, if all else fails, at least you’ll have an abundance of heart-shaped chocolate to soften the pressure!

See you next time!

Beautiful Ring Boxes

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Nae Weans Please!

MM The Celebrant

7 Hilarious Reasons Why Children Should Not Be Invited to Weddings

As a wedding celebrant in Scotland, I’ve seen my fair share of weddings—some elegant, some chaotic, and some where a rogue toddler stole the show (and the cake). While weddings are a joyous occasion, I firmly believe that children should only attend if you enjoy mild anarchy.

If you’re on the fence, here are seven very serious (and completely exaggerated) reasons why your wedding might be better off as a kid-free zone.

1. The Ceremony Will Become a Toddler Talent Show

You spent months planning the perfect ceremony, choosing heartfelt vows and meaningful readings. But none of that matters when a two-year-old in the front row decides now is the time to sing their own rendition of “Baby Shark” at full volume.

2. Wedding Cake and Icing-Faced Bandits

Ah, the cake. A symbol of love and unity, crafted by a skilled baker. Enter a small, icing-covered child with sticky fingers who is absolutely determined to touch every tier. Good luck explaining to your guests why their slice comes with a side of toddler fingerprints.

3. Dance Floor Carnage

Picture this: the newlyweds take their first dance, the music swells, and just as the moment reaches peak romance—BAM! A child sprints across the dance floor, colliding with the couple like a tiny, sugar-fueled bowling ball.

4. The Ceremony Soundtrack: Crying and Complaints

Forget the gentle strumming of a harp or the soulful melody of a string quartet. If you invite children, your wedding soundtrack will be a delightful mix of crying, whining, and the occasional “I need a wee!” shouted at full volume.

5. Confetti Chaos (or a Confetti-Eating Disaster)

Confetti is meant to be thrown into the air, creating a beautiful moment of celebration. Unfortunately, small children see it as either a snack or something to be dumped directly on their sibling’s head. Either way, it’s going to end in tears.

6. Unscheduled Costume Changes

Dressing a child for a wedding is a gamble. Sure, they start the day looking adorable, but by the reception, they’ve either removed most of their outfit, found a way to roll in mud, or accessorized with bits of canapé they found on the floor.

7. Wedding Speeches vs. The “Why?” Interrogation

The best man is midway through a heartfelt toast when a child, sensing a captive audience, loudly asks, “Why is Uncle Dave so sweaty?” Cue laughter, a flustered best man, and a very embarrassed Uncle Dave.

Final Thoughts

Of course, if you love kids, then invite away!

Just be prepared for a little extra chaos (and possibly a cake heist). If, however, you’d prefer a wedding that runs smoothly, with vows heard in full and a dance floor free from tiny trip hazards, a child-free wedding might be the way forward. Either way, I promise—it’ll be a day to remember!

Rules to a happy Ceremony!